From the day I was born, Jesus has ALWAYS been with me. I was raised in the church. I was on the choir, usher board, dance ministry and any other ministries people would throw me into to help out. From age 4 to 18, I was a regular church goer. Never missed a Sunday (unless I was out of town or deathly sick). Going to church was a routine for me.
Fast forward, 5 years later. I am currently 23 years old and for the past year, I have been questioning, not necessarily my faith, but why I go to church EVERY Sunday. There is a scripture that I would hear allllllll the time when I was young from Proverbs 22:6; "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The older members of my church (and my parents) would tell me that scripture so much that I thought it was considered a sin to not go to church. I was always the kid that everyone looked at to do well. If a child wasn't at church to do their scripture reading, it automatically fell on me. I was the President of the youth choir, Chief Usher of the Youth Usher Board and President of the Youth Ministry. And when I missed a Sunday, you would think hell broke loose. My church definitely put too much pressure on me as a young girl.
I'm 23 now and I honestly feel burnt out from my church. I graduated from college in 2018, lived in Florida for 5 months and then came back home to PA in January of 2019. A week after I came home, I found myself being the choreographer for the kids dance ministry. Most of the time, people assign me roles and expect me to do it or to be happy with it. Luckily for them, the kids I teach dance to, are the reason why I'm still going to church. Only because I am teaching them more than dancing for the Lord; I am teaching them the things that I wish I was taught as a young church girl. But that shouldn't be the reason why I go to church.
When I was a little girl, I would watch the teenagers participate in church services and for some reason, I couldn't wait to grow up and be just like them. And then they graduated high school and went to college. I would only see them when they came home for breaks and then during the summer, some would be at church and some weren't. Then the next week, less would show up... and so on. And then one Sunday, after they graduated college, they were all gone to only come back a couple times out of the year. Now since I am about the age when they all left the church, I am thinking about doing the same. It might not be because of the same reasons they did, but I know that I need to be at church that gives me what I need. Why go to a church where you are not getting fed the information you need to grow spiritually? Just because that church works/worked for your parents, doesn't mean it has to work for you.
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